A little about me:
But it wasn't
My husband (now ex-husband) and I were fighting, counseling wasn’t working, I was worn out from saying “yes” to everything, from being afraid of what others would think…from feeling like I was always thinking and doing the wrong thing. I never felt sure of myself–even decisions like what to order at a restaurant were overwhelming. I wanted to photograph boudoir because I thought it was beautiful– the shadows and light, the skin tones, the vulnerability of it appealed to me. But I thought it was crazy to have invested so much time and energy into newborn photography, to switch to something completely different.
But I started to change
I started to say no. I started to believe in myself–and realized I had a lot of shame from how I was raised—and that shame spilled over into my other relationships. Fear and shame had shaped many of my decisions. So often, girls are expected to be quiet and small. Women who aren’t quiet and small seem to not have a place, whether in church, in the job market, or even at home–as daughters and as wives. But over time, we lose who we are, and even who I believe God intended us to be–made in his image–powerful, strong, loving, shameless individuals. Many of us have forgotten that over the years. We became wives and mothers and forgot that we are individuals first.